Finally, the long anticipated film Girl’s Trip debuts in theaters today (I know, it seems like we’ve been seeing the trailer forever). In case you’ve been living under a rock, the film features Jada Pinkett-Smith, Queen Latifiah, Regina Hall, and newcomer Tiffany Haddish . The plot is very near and dear to my heart. It follows the shenanigans and debauchery of four lifelong girlfriends during a New Orleans trip to Essence Festival. Now I’ve had my fair share of girlfriend getaways, a couple that also included Essence Festival. As I reflect on those memories, I can’t help but think about the various personalities I’ve come across over the years. I also wonder how my girls have perceived me during our getaways. My reflections led me to identify 10 common personalities you might come across on a girls’ trip. Disclaimer: This piece is not intended to stereotype anyone, it’s all in jest. I found myself in a couple of these personalities. Which one(s) resonant with you?
Nothing will ever be good enough for this travelista. She will complain from the time you narrow down a destination until you return home. She’s going to complain about her seat assignment at check-in. She’s going to complain about the turbulence during the flight, the person sitting next to her, and the movie selections. When you finally make it to your destination, she’s going to complain about her room assignment, the hotel/resort staff, and the food. The beach will have too much sand , the ocean will have too much water, and her television won’t have enough English speaking channels. If this travelista won a million dollars in the lottery, she would complain that it wasn’t a two million. By the time you make home, you’re happy the trip is over to get a much needed break from her constant whining and complaining.
Passive Aggressive Travelista
This travelista will have an attitude the entire trip. Why? Is she upset because the resort didn’t look like the pictures? Does she have PMS? Is she upset because her boyfriend didn’t respond to her text messages? Who the hell really knows because she won’t tell you. Don’t even waste your time prying. Because every time you inquire she will insist, with one word replies in between awkward silence, that she’s good. But she’s far from good. And she is pissing you off. Don’t completely write her off though, she makes an excellent companion on should you decide to book a getaway to the Twilight Zone.
No one on your team gets the party stared like this travelista. She STAYS in turn up mode. She is truly the life of the party and can go non-stop. She has the best playlist on her iPhone. Her outgoing and boisterous personality draws people in. When things go left, she’s the one to get everyone back on track. She will not allow anyone (nope, not even you) to ruin her joy. She lives life to the fullest and is the queen of hook ups. Your squad will never have to buy a drink or pay a cover with her on your team.
This free spirit breaks away from the group and does her own thing. You might bump into her in passing with “new” people. If it weren’t stopping by the room to shower and change, you would forget she was even a part of your squad. And when you all meet in the lobby for your airport pick-up, she’ll say with the most confused expression on her face, “I barely saw any of you”.
This travelista requires a lot of patience because the ink is still wet on her passport. She’s the one that contacted you (the group leader) a million times with the same redundant questions. Her carry on will be oversized and will she will have to check it. She’s not familiar with TSA check-in policy and will be flagged for bringing prohibited items through security. Be nice though, we all have to start somewhere.
There’s no way to make it any plainer, this travelista is just plain boring. She doesn’t have a streak of adventure in her blood. She doesn’t want to get her hair wet. She’s afraid to go jet skiing. She wouldn’t be caught dead on the beach without a full cover-up. And, since she’s afraid to try the food, her diet consists of burgers, chicken fingers, and fries. She spends A LOT of time in her room. Don’t bother pairing her up with #TeamNoSleep Travelista because she’s in bed by 8pm.
This is the travelista that brings her work, home life, and problems along on every trip. She spends most of the trip Facetiming her partner and/or children and emailing her coworkers. She’s attached to every single one of her communication devices. She gives Facebook and other social media outlets a play by play of all of her “vacation” activities. If the wifi is spotty at your destination, there will be hell to pay.
This travelista can’t hold her liquor. Her drinking binge started in the Sky Lounge before boarding. This is the travelista that will embarrass you and get you held up in customs. It’s not that she’s inexperienced or foreign to travel etiquette, she doesn’t give AF. She’s prone to making a scene and loves attention, both positive and negative. And, before you know it, she will turn your grown and sexy girls’ getaway into a college girls’ gone wild excursion quicker than you can say first class flight.
I was going to use the more politically correct term “frugal” to describe this travelista. But, let’s keep it real. This travelista that had no business booking anyone’s trip and should’ve stayed home. If you coordinated the group trip, you probably had to track her down for each payment. This is the one that probably compromised the entire trip for everyone else because of her slow payments. She’s down to room with 6 other people in a single occupancy room. She never tips the staff. She won’t participate in any excursions and she skips a lot of meals. She’ll order an appetizer and nibble off everyone else’s plate. Advice: Don’t invite her again.
Also known as “Selfie” Travelista and “Can You Take My Pic Every 2 Minutes” Travelista. This travelista has over 20,000 followers on Instagram. Her luggage is Gucci and LV. She does photo shoots in Agent Provocateur swimwear and her pictures are flawless. You wore yoga pants, comfortable shoes, a baseball cap, and your favorite travel tee to the airport. She wore Louboutin heels, 7 For All Mankind skinny jeans, with a beat face and her hair up in the perfect bun. And don’t bother jumping in her pictures, she will crop you out.
Looking back at these descriptions, I think I most definitely can relate to Attached travelista. I mean, if it wasn’t posted on Facebook, it didn’t happen right? Hopefully, this piece brought back some great memories from your girl trips (I know it did for me). If not, I hope it inspired you to plan a getaway soon with your inner circle. My past girl trips have been a staple in my travels. Over the years, I’ve strengthened friendships, created new ones, and even lost a few. And regardless of where life and circumstance has taken us, I value and cherish those experiences. In parting, from New Orleans to Iceland, I’d like to share a few memories from my many past girl trip adventures.
“Friends may change, but memories last forever.” ~Unknown