Girls Trip: Which Urbantravelista are you?

Finally, the long anticipated film Girl’s Trip debuts in theaters today (I know, it seems like we’ve been seeing the trailer forever). In case you’ve been living under a rock, the film features Jada Pinkett-Smith, Queen Latifiah, Regina Hall, and newcomer Tiffany Haddish . The plot is very near and dear to my heart. It follows the shenanigans and debauchery of four lifelong girlfriends during a New Orleans trip to Essence Festival. Now I’ve had my fair share of girlfriend getaways, a couple that also included Essence Festival. As I reflect on those memories, I can’t help but think about the various personalities I’ve come across over the years. I also wonder how my girls have perceived me during our getaways. My reflections led me to identify 10 common personalities you might come across on a girls’ trip. Disclaimer: This piece is not intended to stereotype anyone, it’s all in jest. I found myself in a couple of these personalities. Which one(s) resonant with you?

Complaining Travelista

Nothing will ever be good enough for this travelista. She will complain from the time you narrow down a destination until you return home. She’s going to complain about her seat assignment at check-in. She’s going to complain about the turbulence during the flight, the person sitting next to her, and the movie selections. When you finally make it to your destination, she’s going to complain about her room assignment, the hotel/resort staff, and the food. The beach will have too much sand , the ocean will have too much water, and her television won’t have enough English speaking channels. If this travelista won a million dollars in the lottery, she would complain that it wasn’t a two million. By the time you make home, you’re happy the trip is over to get a much needed break from her constant whining and complaining.

Passive Aggressive Travelista

This travelista will have an attitude the entire trip. Why? Is she upset because the resort didn’t look like the pictures? Does she have PMS? Is she upset because her boyfriend didn’t respond to her text messages? Who the hell really knows because she won’t tell you. Don’t even waste your time prying. Because every time you inquire she will insist, with one word replies in between awkward silence, that she’s good. But she’s far from good. And she is pissing you off. Don’t completely write her off though, she makes an excellent companion on should you decide to book a getaway to the Twilight Zone.

#TeamNoSleep Travelista

No one on your team gets the party stared like this travelista. She STAYS in turn up mode. She is truly the life of the party and can go non-stop. She has the best playlist on her iPhone. Her outgoing and boisterous personality draws people in. When things go left, she’s the one to get everyone back on track. She will not allow anyone (nope, not even you) to ruin her joy. She lives life to the fullest and is the queen of hook ups. Your squad will never have to buy a drink or pay a cover with her on your team.

Wandering Travelista

This free spirit breaks away from the group and does her own thing. You might bump into her in passing with “new” people. If it weren’t stopping by the room to shower and change, you would forget she was even a part of your squad. And when you all meet in the lobby for your airport pick-up, she’ll say with the most confused expression on her face, “I barely saw any of you”.

Inexperienced Travelista

This travelista requires a lot of patience because the ink is still wet on her passport. She’s the one that contacted you (the group leader) a million times with the same redundant questions. Her carry on will be oversized and will she will have to check it. She’s not familiar with TSA check-in policy and will be flagged for bringing prohibited items through security. Be nice though, we all have to start somewhere.

Boring Travelista

There’s no way to make it any plainer, this travelista is just plain boring. She doesn’t have a streak of adventure in her blood. She doesn’t want to get her hair wet. She’s afraid to go jet skiing. She wouldn’t be caught dead on the beach without a full cover-up. And, since she’s afraid to try the food, her diet consists of burgers, chicken fingers, and fries. She spends A LOT of time in her room. Don’t bother pairing her up with #TeamNoSleep Travelista because she’s in bed by 8pm.

Attached Travelista

This is the travelista that brings her work, home life, and problems along on every trip. She spends most of the trip Facetiming her partner and/or children and emailing her coworkers. She’s attached to every single one of her communication devices. She gives Facebook and other social media outlets a play by play of all of her “vacation” activities. If the wifi is spotty at your destination, there will be hell to pay.

Drama Travelista

This travelista can’t hold her liquor. Her drinking binge started in the Sky Lounge before boarding. This is the travelista that will embarrass you and get you held up in customs. It’s not that she’s inexperienced or foreign to travel etiquette, she doesn’t give AF. She’s prone to making a scene and loves attention, both positive and negative. And, before you know it, she will turn your grown and sexy girls’ getaway into a college girls’ gone wild excursion quicker than you can say first class flight.

Broke Travelista

I was going to use the more politically correct term “frugal” to describe this travelista. But, let’s keep it real. This travelista that had no business booking anyone’s trip and should’ve stayed home. If you coordinated the group trip, you probably had to track her down for each payment. This is the one that probably compromised the entire trip for everyone else because of her slow payments. She’s down to room with 6 other people in a single occupancy room. She never tips the staff. She won’t participate in any excursions and she skips a lot of meals. She’ll order an appetizer and nibble off everyone else’s plate. Advice: Don’t invite her again.

Runway Travelista

Also known as “Selfie” Travelista and “Can You Take My Pic Every 2 Minutes” Travelista. This travelista has over 20,000 followers on Instagram. Her luggage is Gucci and LV. She does photo shoots in Agent Provocateur swimwear and her pictures are flawless. You wore yoga pants, comfortable shoes, a baseball cap, and your favorite travel tee to the airport. She wore Louboutin heels, 7 For All Mankind skinny jeans, with a beat face and her hair up in the perfect bun. And don’t bother jumping in her pictures, she will crop you out.

Looking back at these descriptions, I think I most definitely can relate to Attached travelista. I mean, if it wasn’t posted on Facebook, it didn’t happen right? Hopefully, this piece brought back some great memories from your girl trips (I know it did for me). If not, I hope it inspired you to plan a getaway soon with your inner circle. My past girl trips have been a staple in my travels. Over the years, I’ve strengthened friendships, created new ones, and even lost a few. And regardless of where life and circumstance has taken us, I value and cherish those experiences. In parting, from New Orleans to Iceland, I’d like to share a few memories from my many past girl trip adventures.

Vegas (2011)

Essence Fest New Orleans (2012)

Essence Fest New Orleans (2013)

Aruba (2013)

Curacaos (2014)

Cuba (2017)

Iceland (2017)

“Friends may change, but memories last forever.” ~Unknown

A dedication to my Sorors and Sistergreeks…yes, We TRAVEL!

Last week, my intention was to post this blog as a dedication to my beloved sorority’s Founders’ Day. But this adulting thing just won’t let me be great. With most black Greek sorority’s celebrating Founders’ Day last week (the founding anniversary date of our respective sororities), I wanted to recognize my beautiful sorors and fellow sistergreeks making strides and globetrotting all over the world. We’ve come a long way in opportunities since our founders set the path for us over a century ago. I’m sure they never fathomed that sisterhood, service, and excellence would be reflected all over the world today. Actually, I take that back. Of course they knew. Our founders were pioneers and visionaries. They dreamed big without limits. They saw beyond the mental walls and ceilings of defeat and “it can’t be done”. And not only am I happy to be part of such a glorious legacy, but I’m happy their legacy can be seen around the world today. So, without further ado, I bring you the ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha, Delta Sigma Theta, Zeta Phi Beta, and Sigma Gamma Rho. Young, black, educated, and TRAVELED. Note: If one sorority seems more represented than others, it wasn’t intentional. I “pinky” swear LOL.

@passportprissy at Big Red Sand Dunes, Dubai (Alpha Kappa Alpha)

@tanzamerican1920 at the Colosseum in Rome (Zeta Phi Beta)

@starrdevereaux at the Chichen Itza in Mexico (Alpha Kappa Alpha)

@esha_diva10 at the Eiffel Tower in Paris (Delta Sigma Theta)

@ms_nicky at Los Cabo Mountain Top (Alpha Kappa Alpha)

@raegaddy in Pont de l’Alma (Sigma Gamma Rho)

@sassybebe30 at The Hamptons, New York (Alpha Kappa Alpha)

@alexisaifa13 at Koh Phi Phi Beach, Thailand (Alpha Kappa Alpha)

@jasheceo in Costa Rica (Delta Sigma Theta)

@viva.la.vina at Christ de Redeemer in Rio, Brazil (Alpha Kappa Alpha)

@blktraveladdict at the Taj Mahal (Alpha Kappa Alpha)

@chakalate_mamihlapinatapai at Copocabana Beach in Rio during the 2016 Summer Olympics (Alpha Kappa Alpha)

@curlsandcouture in Indonesia (Delta Sigma Theta)

@poshandpumps, Chacchoben Mayan Ruins (Delta Sigma Theta)

@jorilacour at the Leaning Tower of Pisa in Rome, Italy

@queennadiaa in Capetown, South Africa (Alpha Kappa Alpha)

@pearlsofarabia, Dubai and Abu Dhabi, UAE (Alpha Kappa Alpha)

@tydomo_45 at the Royal Palace in Seoul, Korea (Alpha Kappa Alpha)

@i_carlii at Skogafoss Waterfall in Iceland (Sigma Gamma Rho)

@encassilating at the Cathedral-Basilica de Nuestra in Spain (Zeta Phi Beta)

@urbantravelista

Here comes the slay: Bridal party destination goals

Exactly this time 10 years ago, I was preparing for one the most anticipated milestones of a woman’s life: my wedding. August was a pretty big month for weddings. My friends and I were getting married left and right. And based on my Instagram timeline, that pattern appears to still hold true today . In fact, that observation is what inspired this blog post. Lately, I’ve seen so many dope bridal/bachelorette Instagram pics flooding my timeline, that it made me reflect on my own experience 10 years ago. In my heart of hearts, I adore weddings. And contrary to popular belief, I love “LOVE”. I love the notion of finding someone to share your life with through good times and bad and the people you love the most coming together to celebrate it with you. Back then, my friends gave me both an awesome bridal shower and bachelorette party. But unfortunately, I don’t have many photos from those two important events. You see, this was long before iPhones, androids, selfie sticks, and the social media craze that dominates our world today. And one of my biggest regrets from that experience has been not having any pictures of me a my bridal squad to reflect on from the those events. However, the moments of those near and dear to me, coming together to celebrate my new beginning will always be etched in my memory.Hindsight is 20/20. If I could do it all over again, my bridal party and I would grab our passports and do a destination bachelorette party in the Caribbean. We would get into formation and capture dope images like these listed below. Sadly, my marriage didn’t last. But the good news is: I may one day get a second chance to re-create those memories again, if even still exists then. Here’s to making lemonade out of lemons…and here comes the slay!

Credit: @envisiblewoman (Dominican Republic)

Credit: @mckenzieinthemirror (South Beach, Miami)

Credit: @magfabulous (South Beach, Miami)

Credit: @naturally_nakia (Punta Cana)

Credit: @mygirlsquad

Credit: @dino_teme (Cancun)

Credit: @enikobaby (Punta Cana)

Credit: @lolizee21 (Chichen Itza in Cancun)

Credit: @shaq_will (Cabos San Lucas)

Credit: @en_es_em (Cabos San Lucas)

@urbantravelista

Embracing sisterhood: Travel squad inspiration

I promote solo travel often in my blog, because it’s a fairly new experience for me. But I must admit one truth: I MISS MY GIRLFRIEND GETAWAYS. I miss the late night girl locker room talks, being silly, catching up on life, seeking advice, and being surrounded by those that “get” me and still love me in spite of my shortcomings. Overall, I guess once could say that I miss my sister friend connections. Through the years, I’ve lost many of those connections. Some were by choice and others were due to life taking us in different directions. And there’s no love lost. We get married, we have children, we pursue advanced degrees, we start business ventures, we get promoted into demanding positions, we have aging parents that require our attention, and we even relocate. I get it, life happens. In the midst of balancing life’s demands, friendships sometimes fall the wayside. But, as truthful as this all sounds, it would be dishonest of me to blame all of my lost connections on life changes. The truth is, while I excel in attracting connections, I suck at maintaining them. I don’t know if I should blame it on my introverted personality or my Gemini cusp Cancer moon sign. I don’t know if I should blame it on my desire to retreat and cut myself off from the world when I’m going through life’s storms. And I don’t know if it’s my pride in being self-sufficient and feeling like I don’t need anyone. But whatever the reason, none of those should ever be an excuse. Friendship/sisterhood is a reciprocal relationship. Just like a marriage or any other relationship of significance, it requires effort by both parties. It requires communication and reaching out. It requires giving and sacrificing. It requires you calling to check in when you don’t feel like it. It requires you to show up to baby showers and children’s parties when you’d rather do a child-free event, because motherhood is a touchy subject for you. It requires you to be vulnerable and let your friends know that you’re going through something and you need help (or you’re still okay). To maintain a friendship, you have to be a friend – a very basic exchange, one that I struggle with getting right.

I hope to have those kind of connections again someday. But until then, in honor of my nostalgia, I bring you my top Instagram Travel Squad photos that will make you want to phone your sister friends, organize your travel squad (or rent one), and get into travel formation. Here’s to not taking our friendships for granted…here’s to restoring our sister friend connections…and here’s to making new connections. And remember, friendships must be nurtured or they will eventually die.