Chosen Few Weekend: Chicago’s Biggest Family Reunion

So, part one of my 4^th of July weekend began with one of Chicago’s biggest annual reunions, The Chosen Few Old School Picnic. Also known as the “Black Woodstock”, the Chosen Few Picnic is one the most anticipated musical events of the summer. House Heads near and far, get up at the crack of dawn (like seriously out at 3am) to set up their tents, throw meat on the grill, and dance and socialize to endless hours of house music. The event is held on the south side of Chicago in Hayes Park and always takes place on July 4^th weekend. It started over 20 years ago as a small gathering and has now grown to thousands of attendees annually. The event features world renowned guest DJs, live performances and, of course, the legendary Chosen Few DJs.

Now I’ve never considered myself to be a true “house head”, but I do love house music. It’s a part of my generation and it is a part of Chicago. I remember when it originated and I am part of the generation that used to record mixes from WBMX to my cassette tapes. I wasn’t old enough to go to the clubs, but I remember my older counterparts raving about the Warehouse, a house club hosted by world renowned and late house DJ pioneer Frankie Knuckles. Overall, I suppose the event brings a certain feel of nostalgia. You get to listen to the music that saw you through puberty and reunite with old family and friends. It’s peaceful and drama free. Everyone is there for the same purpose and common goal.

The Chosen Few picnic usually takes place July 4^th weekend. Traditionally, it’s always been one day event, coupled with other pre-party and after party events. But this year, they decided to make it a two day affair. And as the event has grown over the years, so has the admission. For example, when I first attended five years ago, the cost was only $10 for general admission. The cost this year was $34 for advanced purchase and $40 at the gate. There is been a lot of controversy regarding the increasing cost. Some attendees feel it’s completely justified and others feel the city is trying to take control of the event to generate another income stream. Either way, I think all of us can agree: it’s a damn good time. And I suspect that no matter how much admission goes up, loyal house heads will still be there. And I probably will be too.

I pledge allegiance to “the house”.

My lovely host and soror

Line to get in

Selfie moment

UNPLUG: My new travel vow

This past weekend, I spent my birthday (yep, I turned 25 “again:) in Dallas with a really good friend of mine. Now my friend, is rarely ever on Facebook. But me?? I LIVE on it. I admit, it’s an addiction. That’s right…my name is Stephanie and I’m a Facebook addict. When I first joined the community back in 2009, I immediately became hooked. Being the typical Cancer moonchild that loves to connect with her past, the idea of connecting with old classmates that I grew up with and distant family members I hadn’t seen in ages really appealed to me. I love nostalgia. And I love reuniting with my past. And then, there is the expression component. As an introvert, I’m pretty shy and reserved in social settings. Being social in the real world makes me uncomfortable and drains me. But in the virtual world, I feel completely free and uninhibited. When I joined back then, I was also going into my third year of marriage and things weren’t going so well. My marriage was quickly heading south and Facebook filled a void for me. Over time, it gave me an outlet to express my thoughts and became my muse. It became my primary source of entertainment. I’ve always taken great pleasure in uplifting others, even when I’m feeling down myself. I really believe it’s my gift to this world. I share inspiration, politically incorrect humor, thought provoking discussion topics, and even participate in some social Facebook groups. And over the years, it seems like I’ve developed quite a following . So back to my weekend…while partaking in the awesome bar hopping birthday festivities my friend arranged for me, she jokingly mentioned that I live on my phone. And I couldn’t deny it. She was absolutely right. I live on Facebook. I live on my phone…in daily life and when I travel.

But I’m not the only offender. When I reflect back on past travels, I’ve made the same observations of other fellow travelers. The “matrix” struggle is real. What is it about social media and technology that makes it so hard to give up when we’re supposed to be living and creating experiences? Why can’t we unplug and disconnect?

I suppose the daily grind of the rat race is partly to blame. As human beings, we’re creatures of habit. It’s hard to stop running once the hamster wheel has stopped spinning. It’s difficult relax and just be. I have a problem and whether they know it or not, so do many other travelers. So, I’ve made the following vow to myself for my next trip: I WILL NOT LIVE ON MY PHONE. With the exception of occasionally check-ins (for safety reasons, especially when traveling solo), I will NOT Facebook. If I feel the urge to post that epic selfie I just took in front of Christ The Redeemer, I will post it and not comment until I return. I will not miss out on connecting with myself or the company of others. I will not miss out on just “being”. I will not miss out on experiencing once in a lifetime moments. Rare moments are priceless. And I will no longer spend them of Facebook.

Can you unplug?

Unplugged in Aruba, circa 2013…

@urbantravelista

#TouristInMyTown: Taste of Randolph

This weekend, I had the opportunity to cross the Taste of Randolph off my summer festival bucket list. Yep…ANOTHER EVENT I have yet to attend all of my many years as a Chicagoan SMH. Nestled along the 900 west block of Randolph between Racine and Peoria, The Taste of Randolph is like the appetizer to Chicago’s summer main course, the Taste of Chicago. Historically, it runs the third week of June and started Friday, June 17^that 5pm Sunday and ended June 19^that 10pm. The Taste of Randolph is hosted by the West Loop Community Organization, an a non-profit 501(c)3 agency that continuously works to ensure positive progress for the neighborhood, while offering social events and beneficial developments to improve the quality of life in the West Loop.

The entry fee is a reasonable $10 donation (all proceeds benefit the West Loop Community Organization) and grants attendees access to top local cuisine, art vendors, and live music. This year, the festival partnered with Chicago based independent promoters, Silver Wrapper to bring three eclectic stages featuring raw talent including Chicago’s brightest young musical acts extending from indie rock to dance music. If you’re a foodie, music lover, or artisan, this event is for you. There’s something for everyone to enjoy. As for me, I heavily enjoyed the red sangria, chicken kabobs, and house music!

And if you missed it this year, there’s always next year. Until then, you still have the Taste of Chicago to look forward to which runs from July 6^th through July 10^th at Grant Park (admission FREE). Stayed tuned for my next review and come “summer” me with as I become a “Tourist In My Town”.

Live music

It was like 90 degrees

Red sangria WASTED!

Chicity represent!

These chicken kabobs were fiyah

My skyline is better than yours

@urbantravelista

#TouristInMyTown: Wells Street Art Festival

So this past weekend, I kicked off my #TouristInMyTown Summer Challenge at the annual Wells Street Art Festival. Usually held the second full weekend of June, the event takes place in historical Old Town, on Wells Street between Division and North Ave. Sidebar: For almost 3 years, I used to work on the same block as this event and never ever attended SMH!!!

The Wells Street Art Festival features over 225 artists from across the continent with an estimated 50,000 patrons in attendance over the entire weekend . Many of the disciplines represented include: traditional painting and sculpture, artisan woodworking and metalsmithing, jewel craft, and digital arts. There is also live entertainment, a children’s play area, and over 20 food and drink vendors from most of the restaurants in historic Old Town. The festival is located in close proximity to Chicago’s Magnificent Mile, walking distance from North Avenue Beach, and very accessible via public transportation. The cover charge is usually based on whatever donation you would like to give. This year, they requested $7.00 from each attendee. The gate donations support various community organizations and causes such as homeless services, local schools, hunger initiatives, health education, and arts and culture organizations.

Overall, this event made my weekend. It was peaceful and the first Saturday that we saw 90 degree weather. And, I also appreciate the festival’s efforts in providing a social platform for unknown and upcoming artists to share and promote their work to those of us that don’t usually get the opportunity to enjoy it.

For vendor or sponsorship opportunities regarding next year’s festival, please visit their website at http://www.wellsstreetartfest.us/#!contactus/c24vq

@urbantravelista

Embracing sisterhood: Travel squad inspiration

I promote solo travel often in my blog, because it’s a fairly new experience for me. But I must admit one truth: I MISS MY GIRLFRIEND GETAWAYS. I miss the late night girl locker room talks, being silly, catching up on life, seeking advice, and being surrounded by those that “get” me and still love me in spite of my shortcomings. Overall, I guess once could say that I miss my sister friend connections. Through the years, I’ve lost many of those connections. Some were by choice and others were due to life taking us in different directions. And there’s no love lost. We get married, we have children, we pursue advanced degrees, we start business ventures, we get promoted into demanding positions, we have aging parents that require our attention, and we even relocate. I get it, life happens. In the midst of balancing life’s demands, friendships sometimes fall the wayside. But, as truthful as this all sounds, it would be dishonest of me to blame all of my lost connections on life changes. The truth is, while I excel in attracting connections, I suck at maintaining them. I don’t know if I should blame it on my introverted personality or my Gemini cusp Cancer moon sign. I don’t know if I should blame it on my desire to retreat and cut myself off from the world when I’m going through life’s storms. And I don’t know if it’s my pride in being self-sufficient and feeling like I don’t need anyone. But whatever the reason, none of those should ever be an excuse. Friendship/sisterhood is a reciprocal relationship. Just like a marriage or any other relationship of significance, it requires effort by both parties. It requires communication and reaching out. It requires giving and sacrificing. It requires you calling to check in when you don’t feel like it. It requires you to show up to baby showers and children’s parties when you’d rather do a child-free event, because motherhood is a touchy subject for you. It requires you to be vulnerable and let your friends know that you’re going through something and you need help (or you’re still okay). To maintain a friendship, you have to be a friend – a very basic exchange, one that I struggle with getting right.

I hope to have those kind of connections again someday. But until then, in honor of my nostalgia, I bring you my top Instagram Travel Squad photos that will make you want to phone your sister friends, organize your travel squad (or rent one), and get into travel formation. Here’s to not taking our friendships for granted…here’s to restoring our sister friend connections…and here’s to making new connections. And remember, friendships must be nurtured or they will eventually die.

ATVs in Cancun (Credit: @pglammednyc)

Formation in Bali (Credit: @dispoetzsoul)

Rio slayage at the Parque Lage in Brazil (Credit: @ashcaldc)

Sisterhood in Paris (Credit: jonesin4jonesy)

Caping in Madrid, Spain (Credit: @theslaycation)

An effortless slay in Salvador De Bahia, Brazil (Credit: @jnambowa)

Formation in Castillo San Cristobal, San Juan Puerto Rico (Credit: @akafly12)

Bridal squad goals at the Chichen Itza, Cancun Mexico (Credit: @lolizee21_)

Bridal squad goals continued (Credit: @lolizee21)

That one time Cartagena, Colombia wasn’t ready (Credit: @hunnibre)

One of my last sisterfriend trips with my Sorors to Curacao back in 2014 (Credit: @urbantravelista)

@urbantravelista

Why do we travel shame?

This time last summer, I received a new bike for my birthday. With it being the first birthday in years that I actually received something I wanted off my birthday list, to say I was excited would be an understatement. I couldn’t wait to take my new whip out for a ride on the bike path near my house. Well after posting selfies of my first ride on Facebook (because if it isn’t on Facebook, it didn’t happen, right?), a friend invited and added me to a biking interest group. Now when it comes to biking, I’m a total rookie. I do it strictly for leisure as a relaxing outdoor activity. I don’t own a $5,000 Trek bike. I have a simple mountain bike and helmet, both of which serve their purpose just fine. As a part of the rules for new members, I posted one of the selfie collages I took on my first ride. I received some warm welcomes and best wishes on my newfound hobby. And I also received some unexpected criticism and put downs. The position of my helmet wasn’t right, my choice in shades wasn’t right, and my Bluetooth headset…you guessed it, wasn’t right SMH! After a few thanks your and putting some people on complete ignore, the “bike Nazis” eventually worked their way down to my new whip. My $200 bike wasn’t good enough. I needed a four figure road bike. Seeing how they completely sucked the joy out of what was supposed to be an enjoyable leisure activity, I didn’t post much after that. Instead of jumping ship, I decided to go into lurk mode. I mean, maybe I caught them on a bad day? Maybe it was a full moon? Some people are more in their egos on some days than others, especially on a payday. So, I thought to myself, I’ll give them a chance. After all, I really did have in interest in learning more about biking and maybe getting some pointers. But to my dismay, I made the same observations when other new members posted their introductions. The same criticism, put downs, and suggestion for an expensive they had no intention in putting a down payment on. Then every post in between seemed to be a bragging competition over who had the best bike, biked the most miles, and took the best selfies. After the repetitive bragging fests, I left the group.

While this particular scenario is about my biking experience, I’ve also seen this behavior in the travel world. In fact, you can find it in almost every group. It seems like people have this drive to be “all knowing” and want their experience to trump everyone else’s experience. Travel has become a commonplace activity for people to upstage one another on how many passport stamps they have collected in comparison to someone else. It has become a playground to belittle other people’s travel experiences. Why do we shame people who are new to our experiences? I mean, a new interest is just that, it’s NEW. As a new traveler, I won’t have as much “hands on” knowledge about the world as someone who has traveled to all seven continents and I certainly won’t have as many passport stamps. The only thing we will share in common is an activity we both want to learn more about (me as the “new” traveler) and grow in (you as the “experienced” traveler). We all have to start somewhere.

People travel for many different reasons. You have those that want to be the Beyoncé of the travel game. And you have those that are more than content being the Ashanti of travel….and both are perfectly OKAY. Everyone that decides to take up golf doesn’t aspire to become the next Tiger Woods. Everyone that decides to take up tennis doesn’t aspire to compete in Wimbledon next year. Every new foodie isn’t trying to become the next Rachel Ray. And every new traveler isn’t trying to become the next “it” travel blogger with thousands of Instagram followers. Some people do things strictly for leisure and personal enjoyment. Nothing more, nothing less. If you love to travel only to the Caribbean once a year, that’s fine. And if traveling all seven continents every year is an absolutely must for you, that’s okay too. But don’t crap on next person’s experience or lack thereof. While “only going to Cancun or Puerto Rico” may not seem like a big deal to me or another experienced traveler, it can mean the world to someone who has never stepped outside of our borders…or even their city. And that experience that we look down on can be the gateway to open them up to even greater experiences.

How can we attract people to travel (or any other activity), if we’re always putting them down? The world needs more encouragers and less critics. Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make you shine brighter. It makes you look like an idiot.

And I’m done.

@urbantravelista

#TouristInMyTown Summer Challenge

So what exactly is the #TouristInMyTown Summer Challenge? Well it’s a challenge I created to inspire myself and others to take advantage of the abundant tourism that’s right in our own back yard. I’m always intrigued whenever I meet people from other parts of the country and globe that have experienced and know more about my city than I do. I mean, how exactly does this happen? How is that John has been to Navy Pier more than I have and he lives in Seattle? Well, I have a theory. Just like a relationship, we get complacent. The attractions we have access to will always be there, so we take them for granted.

In the early 90’s my family and I relocated from the burbs to Hyde Park. If you’re not familiar with Chicago, Hyde Park sits along the lakefront and houses the prestigious University of Chicago and Museum of Science and Industry. And it is also home of our current First Family. Although it’s changed a lot over the years, there has always been great beauty and a lot of history there. Growing up as a suburbanite, moving to Hyde Park was a welcome change for me. I was so excited to be taking the plunge into city life. I mean, who wouldn’t be excited living on the 22^nd floor with a panoramic view of the lake. I couldn’t wait to stroll on the lake with the rest of the joggers and bikers. Well, after my few times, my enthusiasm died down. After my first year, I can count on one hand how many times I went back over the 12 years that followed. And the Museum of Science and Industry? I didn’t go at all. It was walking distance from my apartment building SMH! Truth be told, I really haven’t gone to any museums or zoos since my high school years. And the last time I went to the Sears Tower (I’m a native Chicagoan, it will NEVER be the Willis Tower) was for a job interview. Why didn’t I check out the new Skydeck? I didn’t even get the job, so it would have at least made the trip worth my while.

A second theory I believe keeps us complacent is the “work factor”. Many of us live in the suburbs and work in the city. When we have our freedom on the weekends, the last thing we want to do is travel back to where we work. We commute in, do our work, and leave. Meanwhile, the tourists are having a field day taking advantage of every awesome experience we take for granted. While we’re running to catch that last train back to the burbs, they’re passing us by on their Segway tour.

I want to inspire people to venture outside of the comforts of their own neighbor for leisure rather than work, school, or a doctor’s appointment. Everyone isn’t in the position to quit their jobs to globetrot and island hop every weekend. Everyone doesn’t have the financial resources or even available time off to travel. Some people even have trouble getting passports. But EVERYONE can take advantage of the tourism opportunities right in their back yard.

So how to do you do the #TouristInMyTown Summer Challenge? It’s simple. Pick a day (or a few) and pick out a few attractions you want to check out over the summer:

Museums/Landmarks/Tours: Check out the museum or landmark you haven’t visited since childhood. Try going for pure leisure, instead of going because you have to chaperone on a field trip. Does your city offer a walking or bus tour? Try one. You’ll be surprised at what you might learn.

Ferris Buller Day: Remember the 80’s classic Ferris Bueller’s Day off (I know, I’m telling my age)? While I would never advocate anyone jeopardizing their job, you can play hooky from work and spend the day in your city sightseeing. Just don’t go near your workplace LOL!

Day Trip: Find a destination a couple of hours away from your city and plan a full day trip. Is there a winery or beach you’ve always wanted to visit? Is there an activity you’ve wanted to try, like kayaking or hiking, but never made time for it? The possibilities are endless with a day trip.

Sears Tower (not Willis) Skydeck

Buckingham Fountain

Boat ride along the Chicago River

The Field Museum

Millennium Park

It is my sincere hope that this challenge will give us a new appreciation for where we live and what we take for granted. The news reminds us daily of what’s wrong with our city. Let’s show the world what’s “right” with it. There is so much history and beauty right in our backyard. You can start anytime you want over the summer. Rep your city and don’t forget the #TouristInMyTown hashtag in your social media pics. Let’s go!!!

@urbantravelista

#TravelFashionFriday: The Zuvaa Marketplace

In the spirit of keeping up with Urbantravelista’s #travelfashionfriday theme, it would be remiss if I didn’t share this new company (not new exactly, but new to me) that popped up on my Instagram feed yesterday. Zuvaa, is an online retailer that specializing in one of a kind African designs and prints. Founded by Kelechi Anyadiegwu (yes, woman owned and operated), “The Zuvaa Marketplace is the premier online destination to find unique African inspired pieces”. And based on their inventory, the Zuvaa brand not only lives up to this catchphrase…it exceeds it! They carry a wide selection of apparel ranging from dresses to skirts to trousers to jumpers. But what really caught my eye was The OSE Collection, their African inspired swimwear line. The cut and design of the suits appear to have the ability to flatter any body type, including my muffin top (nope, this body still isn’t summer ready SMH). The OSE Collection swimwear line runs between $85 and $95 and the rest of their garments run between $85 and $275.

Costa Rica was on my radar for my next getaway, but after seeing the Zuvaa collection, I’m ready to jet set to Mozambique. You can check out their collection for yourself at www.zuvaa.com. And if shopping online is not your forte, no worries. Zuvaa offers pop-up shops at select major cities. Check them out and let me know what you think.

#urbantravelista

Five things I love/hate about solo travel

While solo travel may not be for everyone, I do think it’s something everyone should experience (male or female) at least once in their lifetime. You’re probably asking yourself why on earth would a woman “want” to travel halfway around the world alone when dining out and requesting a table for one is already awkward? That was the reaction I received from a few friends when they learned of my first solo trip to Cancun. But if you take my personality into account, it would be no surprise that solo travel would appeal to me. I’m introverted, reserved, socially awkward, and get my energy from solitude. Yeah, I’m the “why you so quiet” girl. But I’m a beast on Facebook (did I mention I was socially awkward in real life?). Anyway, I’ve always been a loner, so doing things alone always seemed to come easy to me. I was also an only child for ten years and grew up as a “latch key kid”. Because of these experiences and personality traits, I guess one could say that I’ve mastered the art of enjoying my own company. While my experiences with solo travel have been nothing short of amazing, there are pros and cons just like anything else.

What I LOVE

Flexibility: What I love most about traveling solo, and I think most others would agree is the freedom to move around and not stick to a rigid itinerary. Girlfriend/group trips are great, but the freedom of doing things on your own time can be rather enticing. If I want to sleep until noon, I sleep in. If I want to go chill at the beach, I chill at the beach. If I’m sleepy and want to turn in early, I go back to my room and go to sleep. If I want to skip an excursion, I can do just that. There is no obligation to participate in anything I do feel up to. I can do things at my own will without being looked at as antisocial or the group “Debbie Downer”.
Empowerment: Traveling solo to an unfamiliar territory boosts your confidence like no other. Some people talk about what they’re going to do, the places they plan to visit someday, but seldom ever do. You’re the exception. You had a desire, created a plan, and did it all by yourself. You didn’t wait for anyone. You turned someday into TODAY. You had fears and you we’re unsure of yourself, but you did it anyway. That’s EMPOWERMENT. And this is the kind of empowerment that builds dreams and turns them into reality. There is no greater empowerment than creating the life you want.
Respect: Believe it or not, there’s a lot of respect that comes with traveling solo. The most common line you will receive is, “wow, you’re brave”. People have this perception that you’re fearless, courageous, and a go getter because….well because you are. As I mentioned above, you’re doing what most people “talk” about doing. Embrace it, own it, and be unapologetic for it.
Liberation: There really isn’t much I can say about this because it’s something you truly have to experience for yourself. The freedom and liberation that comes with traveling solo feels like an intense dopamine release. It’s almost orgasmic…there’s really nothing like it. Well there are a few substitutes, but I think most of them are illegal LOL. When I traveled solo for the first time last year, I felt like a bird that had just been released from its cage. There is something liberating about being a place where no one knows you and the few days lying ahead of you to do as you please. It’s just YOU living by YOUR own rules.
Self-reliance: It should be no surprise that solo travel increases your self-reliance. Being in unfamiliar territory forces you to rely on your senses and become aware of your surroundings.

What I HATE

Fear Mongering: While our concerned family and friends mean well (I know they really do), the constant affirmations of what can go wrong can be overwhelming. It takes a lot of courage to travel solo. Once you make the decision to do so, you don’t want anyone raining on your parade. We can’t fault them for overreacting sometimes, especially if they are limited in their own travel experiences. And let’s face it, our media seldom shares the positive realities of our world. It never shares what goes right. We’re constantly inundated with negative news stories and the horrors of the world instead of its alluring beauty. And while I’m sure our loved ones’ concerns come from a sincere place of love, they often fail to realize is that we really have a greater chance of being robbed, raped, or murdered right in our own backyard. The best analogy I can think of is our soldiers who go overseas to fight, only to return home and be murdered right here on U.S. soil. To be frank, more things go wrong in my life when I’m home than when I’m away. That’s part of the reason why I enjoy getting away LOL!
Assumptions: When you do the epic things that others don’t have the courage to do, people will assume the worst about your life. They assume you’re lonely, have no friends, and/or no significant other or someone special in your life. When the reality is, you just like to travel. Nothing more, nothing less. It doesn’t mean you’re bound to die alone with 20 cats during your golden years. And even if you did, at least you saw the world and did what you wanted to do and instead of “wishing” you had. So let them assume while you keep collecting stamps. Checkmate bish!
Lack of dope pics: This one probably irks me the most. I haven’t mastered the art of the selfie stick. And even if I did, a selfie stick doesn’t hold a candle to the full length action pics you see posted on sites like Travel Noire and Soul Society. I want an action pic of me doing a yoga pose in front of the Taj Mahal too . You can’t exactly achieve that level of dopeness with the selfie stick you bought at Walmart. Sure, you can ask a stranger or tour operator to take your picture and the will usually offer before you have a chance to ask. But I need like 30 takes to get a good picture and they just don’t have that kind of time. So until I move up in the world and staff my own professional photographer, selfies it is!!

: Dope Instagram Pic in front of Chichen Itza (Credit: @whereismarissa)

: My boring, but cute “selfie” in front of Chichen Itza

No Shared experiences: As I mentioned before, freedom, flexibility, and liberation are just a few of the benefits solo travel has to offer. However, I do occasionally find myself missing those shared intimate moments with someone. Whether it be a good laugh, a random intimate kiss, or just conversation with someone who really knows you, shared experiences have their place and are necessary in this thing we call life too. Even when I’m going through my tough “I don’t need anyone” moments, I realize that we do need these experiences sometimes.

This solo trip is everything, but I kinda want a bae too *sad face*

Addiction: Yes, solo travel can be addictive. While it may push you further outside of your comfort zone, it can also push you further into rejecting opportunities to travel with other people. People approach me all the time about traveling with them and at times, I want to decline. And like I mentioned before, although solo travel affords many benefits, I believe we still need those shared and bonding experiences as human beings.

So there you have it. This sums up my personal list of pros and cons to solo travel. Alone is a state of being. Lonely is a feeling (emotion). People often use these constructs interchangeably. They are not the same. I’ve been lonely by myself and in room filled with loved ones. You come into this world alone and you will die alone. Sure, you may be surrounded by people for both events, but the pre-journey to get here and post-journey after departure is all on your own. So get over yourself, get out of your way, and get over your fears. Go so some world, WITH or WITHOUT someone.

#urbantravelista

Travel: When you meet others, you meet yourself

I’m going to be transparent. I’m just gonna come out and say it. I HATE this routine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful with the blessings life has afforded me. For example, I have a stable career and my health is decent. I have an awesome family that loves me unconditionally and I look ten years younger than my stated age (okay, maybe about five). And professionally, I’ve accomplished most of things I set out to do. But a significant part of me hates the redundancy of the American rat race: getting up at the crack of dawn, fighting my way through morning rush hour traffic, doing work that does not inspire me or feed my soul, fighting my way through evening rush hour traffic again, only to return home and rinse/repeat and do it all over again. It’s safe and secure, but it’s also slow death. You see, like many before me, I thought the recipe for lifelong happiness was this: 1.) Go to college, 2.) Start a career that pays well, 3.) Get married, 4.) Buy a house, 5.) Buy a luxury car, 6.) Have kids, 7.) Get a dog, 8.) Add water and stir, 9.) Live happily ever after…you know, like the Cosby Show. That’s the blueprint that was ingrained in me since debuting from my mother’s womb in 1985 (yes, so what…I’m lying). The blueprint always sounded promising. But the blueprint never addressed that someday your career might eventually leave you stagnant and unfulfilled. The blueprint never mentioned that the marriage might fail and the children may never come. It never mentioned that in spite of following your life plan to the letter, you might be left confused, without passion, and have to find your purpose and reinvent yourself all over again. The blueprint never provided a disclaimer that sometimes things just change. I’m sure you’re thinking, what the hell does this have to do with travel? Well, just keep reading….

A few years ago, like most black first timers, I earned my first passport stamp during my travels to the Dominican. I was going through a major life transition at the time and traveling abroad was something I finally decided to make priority for myself, especially after putting it off for so many years. Looking back, I guess one could say this was the moment my travel bug was born. While my first experience traveling abroad offered many high moments, the most memorable aspect of my trip, will always be the excursion I had with Mike Punta Cana Adventures. While planning, I came across his reality tour company on TripAdvisor. The reviews were stellar and his tour allowed you to immerse yourself into Dominican life as a local. Basically you get to be Dominican for a day. The first leg of our tour was a stop at a Dominican elementary school. At the time of booking, tourists were requested bring school supplies (strictly optional). The smiles on those kids faces when they received their protractors, compasses, notebooks, and markers will forever be etched in my memories. They were so grateful…so grateful to have access to the basic conveniences we take for granted here in America. I wanted to pack each and every one of them in my luggage and bring them home. They were too adorable!!! Our next stop was cigar shop where we learned how to roll cigars and played dominoes with the locals. Sadly, I lost. Dominoes have never been my thing, but had we played spades, it would’ve been on. As promised, the tour was very interactive and gave us a raw and unfiltered look at Dominican culture. On the way back to our respective resorts, Mike shared his testimony of how this amazing tour company came to be. Mike was a middle aged guy from Canada and lived a pretty comfortable and stable life. His marriage failed and he never had any children. In spite of having a stable career that compensated him very well, he felt unfulfilled. His life had become redundant and routine. He felt like a hamster on wheel, like he merely existed. Hmmm, But instead of accepting the cards he had been dealt, Mike did what so many of us “walking dead” don’t: He stepped outside of his comfort zone and embraced the unknown. Against the advice of his well-meaning loved ones, he cashed out his savings and quit his job. After running out of money and experiencing several “this was the dumbest decision ever” moments, fate and lead him to the Dominican. Over time, Mike dedicated himself to learning as much about Dominican culture as he possibly could and established strong relationships with many of the locals. Shortly later, Mike’s Punta Cana Adventures was born. Today, Mike’s tour company consistently ranks as the number one excursion in Punta Cana and has done so for years. And what I admire most about him was that it was never about the money. He uses his tour company as a vehicle to give back to the locals, particularly the children. This is what gives him purpose and feeds his soul. He’s living his dream. Upon departure, he stated that his motto was although he was unable to help the entire world, he could help a tiny piece of it. And in addition to birthing his successful tour company, he eventually met his second wife and at the time of my tour, they were expecting their first child.

So back to my original point: You see, travel can be much more than just rest, relaxation, bottomless margaritas, and flossing for Facebook and Instagram. If you’re open to the experience, it can be an opportunity to learn and grow. In addition to meeting other people, travel can allow you the opportunity to meet “yourself” through your interactions with other people. I felt like I met myself through Mike on that tour. Here I was meeting the same crossroads that he overcame. He walked it. He lived it. He overcame it. That encounter was more valuable than any of the Dominican rum, cigars, and other souvenirs I brought home. However, here I am a few years later still kind of clinging to safety. Inspiration is useless if it’s never put into action. How long will many of us continue to not act on inspiration and not move beyond an unfulfilled life? Now I’m not saying one needs to quit their job and move to another country with no plan in sight in order to seek fulfillment. But I believe we were put on this earth to live our best life and not simply exist in it. I also believe there are no coincidences. We draw the teachers and guides in our lives at the time we need them. Mike was one of my teachers and I will always be grateful for that experience.